F4TF #31 – Free Pass


If your partner was to offer you a “free pass”, where you could do anything with anyone, without there being any recriminations, would you take advantage of it? If so, how? Have you ever been given such a “pass” and did you use it?

Ha! If any of you have been readers of either of my other two blogs you’ll be well aware of my feelings on the Free Pass idea… my list expands and changes on a weekly basis!

The long-suffering OH has agreed to it, (which to be fair, isn’t really such a sacrifice on his part, given that the chances of me running into Jamie Dornan et al, let alone the chances of him/them wanting to fuck me, are pretty astronomical!).

In all seriousness, if I was to meet him, or any of my other fantasy lovers, I think I would simply not be able to follow through. When it comes down to it, it’s just sex with a hot guy… and who’s to even say it’d be any good? What if they have BO, bad breath, sniff too much, are totally crap in bed?

And how would the OH feel knowing I’m off shagging some A-lister while he sits at home with the dogs? How would I feel thinking of him? I honestly think I’d rather stay home and play with my crazy little family. (Am I getting old?)

What would the atmosphere be like the next day?

“Do anything fun last night darling?”

“Well, seeing as you asked…”

Maybe I am growing up, (eek!), but right now I am completely content with keeping the Free Pass idea as fun, silly little fantasy.

What I have with the OH is real, solid, it matters. It matters so much more than a meaningless encounter with someone else, no matter how gorgeous and sexy they are.

Besides… I happen to have lucked out and got myself a very gorgeous and sexy OH anyway so the Free Pass is pretty redundant.


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4 thoughts on “F4TF #31 – Free Pass

  1. Well… I HAVE a free pass… and don’t use it 😉

    It’s not technically true, but really, I don’t ‘stray’ half as much as one would expect.
    So, let me explain a few things about myself. I have never been interested in sex with any celebrity. None.
    It’s not the physique that turns me on, but the vibes flowing between two people. I’d much rather be in bed with someone who wants ME than someone who uses me as a blow-up doll to get off (been there, done that with the ex, no thank you, not ever again!).
    The place I’m at right now, if I play with someone else, it’s actually in part because I know it turns my love on to hear about it 😉

    Now, he has different needs, I know he loves to hunt and accept that as being part of him.
    So he has a free pass ans uses it. Though I think that, for him too, the attraction of being with others is fading. Sometimes, he does it to be nice to those women. Sometimes, maybe to be able to contemplate the difference with what we have? I always chuckle when he says, almost surprised, that it’s always as powerful as on the first day with me (the implication being it’s not with others, either it’s not as good from the get go, or the strength of the experience dwindles with time).

    At least with me, there is no need to prove anything, no need to worry about how good sex will be, because we both know that, even if we’re tired one day, it’ll be great next time. And just being *with* one another is powerful, no need for sex. Though we have never been able NOT to have sex when we’re together. I don’t know that we could ever live together, we’d be shagging all the time 😉 (seriously, I wouldn’t mind finding out, but it’s OK). What I mean is, even when we don’t have specific plans to have sex, we end up doing it.

    So yes, I have a free pass. Yes, I’ve used it, and he loves hearing about my encounters (most of the times I’ve shagged other men, he was right by my side though, but that’s slightly different 😉 ).
    And no, I don’t want to use it all the time. Because what I have with my love is so much stronger than anything I’ve ever had with any other man! But I like the fact that if I ever feel like trying it out with another man, I’m more than welcome to (provided I tell him all about it afterwards 😉 ).

    I think, as you say, the free pass in non-open relationships is probably more of a fantasy than anything else. Which doesn’t mean it’s not a good thing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha! I don’t know if we’ve got it all worked out. I think there is plenty left to work out. But that side of our relationship is easy enough, though there was some trouble a mere month ago… it’s never as easy as we want 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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