This week my good buddy, The Kilted One, posed this question:
When it comes to truly enjoying sex, how important is it for your mind to be stimulated as well as your body? What are the ways in which you enjoy you partner (or yourself) stimulating your mind?
I can honestly say some of the best sex I have ever had has happened purely between my ears.
As a child, I was known for my wild imagination, (I was described by my teachers as ‘precocious’), and endless questions. I lived a lot in my head, creating fantasy worlds that I completely immersed myself into. Not much has changed, except now my fantasies are less occupied with being “World’s Best Private Detective”, “World’s Best Film Star”, or World’s Best Vet”.
These days, my mind drifts to more primal images; of me being used by men, discarded and manhandled, or perhaps on another day, being worshipped by one man, (or girl), who lives only to pleasure me. I love those mornings when I awake from a sexy dream and have the luxury of lying there letting my fanasty play out, often delaying any actual gratification until the afternoon, when I simply cannt take the edge any longer.
It is a very frequent occurrence that, as I write a filthy story, I begin to squirm in my seat, rubbing my thighs together to create friction, feeling myself grow wetter as the story unfolds. I have a very visual imagination; my stories come to me like little films. I have written before about my tendency to ‘act’ scenes out, to be sure what I am writing actually makes sense, my fingers caressing my throat, moving down along my body to describe and write the actions just right. Most times, I cannot wait to finish the story and I pop upstairs, (leaving the dogs blissfully snoozing on the sofa), to relieve my tension. (Yes, on occasion they have followed me; if you have never wanked with four little puupy dog brown eyes locked on you, well… lets just say, good for you!)
I like to let my mind wander during sex too; it occurs to me now that perhaps that is one reason I love to be blindfolded. The tension of being rendered sightless, of not knowing what he will do next, or where exactly he is in the room, is incredibly sexy. It keeps me hyper aware, like a trapped animal, even though I feel completely safe and secure with him.
Another way I think the mind is the biggest erogenous zone is how my sex drive or desire is impacted by my mood. If I am stressed, worried or depressed, it is highly unlikely I will be receptive to sexual advances. Those days I am struggling to simply exist and the energy and focus required to have good sex is diverted elsewhere. Similarly, if I am annoyed or angry I am unlikely to feel sexy – unless it’s those times where I am so pumped up and frustrated that only a good hard seeing to will cure my scowling face.
So, yes, if you want to get into my pants you better get inside my head first – make me laugh, make me jump, surprise me, excite me, push me, challenge me, scare me a little.
Light me up from the inside out…
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