Yes I think people are capable of change.
We are constantly evolving, growing and changing throughout our lives. If we are not, there is something wrong I think. I know for certain I am not the same person I was when I met the OH for example, and I am married to a different man today than I was ten years ago.
Life experiences certainly shape how we grow and change to a large extent, but I think the fundamental basis to change is the conscious reaction we have to these life events.
We can, to a large degree, control how any experience shapes us – we can use it to become bitter, cut off, resentful, or we can see it as a learning opportunity and reframe it in a positive light, it could make us stronger, more resilient.
I think to actually, really change, a person has to WANT to do so. I have a sibling who has always been a rude, self-centred asshole and, despite several opportunities to change his behaviour and attitude, remains a rude, self-centred asshole to this day. Perhaps he is incapable of change, or perhaps he simply cannot be arsed to put in the work.
Maybe it’s the idealist in me… I know the OH leans more towards the “people are who they are” and “a leopard doesn’t change it’s spots” school of thought.
I need to believe that people can turn themselves around, if they want to. It is not easy, but it is possible.
Copyright, 2016, illicitthoughts.wordpress.com
All rights reserved.