All of my life I have had crippling arachnophobia.
It defined me.
It caused me untold stress and upset.
It was hell.
Every year, come September, the dreaded invasion of huge, hairy spiders into my home made me feel helpless, powerless, vulnerable and a prisoner in my own home.
Last year I made an appointment with a hypnotherapist and addressed the issue head on.
From September to November, spiders came into my home and, instead of crying and screaming, I calmly pointed them out to the OH and asked him not to kill them but to take them outside to the garden. I have even managed to place a glass over them and slide some card underneath! Trust me, that is MASSIVE!
Last Saturday we visited the OH’s family and my mother in law, (who I do love), played a trick on me. She gave my youngest nephew a very large plastic tarantula toy and told him to creep up on me. I was at the dining table and turned to see a giant spider on the table beside me. In the past I would have felt that dreadful spike of adrenaline all the way to my fingertips. I would have been unable to stop myself screaming and crying and would most likely have ran from the room. On Saturday, I flinched, more from being startled than being scared, laughed and picked up the toy and calmly handed it to me mother in law.
The OH’s face was priceless… I saw concern and then pride and it made me so happy.
I was finally in control of my fear.
THAT is my major accomplishment! It’s actually life changing.
Am I allowed be to proud of myself?
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