Lady Bits Feedback Update…

Hey guys and gals…

I asked for my readers to give me feedback on how they feel about the female genitalia last week and you guys haven’t let me down! Thank you all for filling in my feedback form and for being so open and honest.

If you are wondering when to expect the actual post… I am letting it sit in my teeny tiny little mind for  while. It was one of those topics that seemed like a great idea when I came up with it but I just haven’t quite formulated the approach I want to take with it… any of you that write will probably be familiar with this feeling!

However, I still think it is a subject worthy of a post, and given that you all took time to answer me, I feel it would be very wrong of me to not keep up my and of the bargain. I will pull my lazy finger out and get onto it.. Just wanted you all to know I haven’t just read your feedback and rejected the idea.

Thanks again… My readers and followers are the very best bunch ever!

💋

Copyright, 2015, illicitthoughts.wordpress.com
All rights reserved.

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “Lady Bits Feedback Update…

  1. Well I guess I’m late to the party, but mostly I think about whether or not my lady bits (as you so eloquently refer to them) will shrivel up from lack of use/lack of sex. I was last with a man in 2010, and since then I’ve been busy (I got sober, I lost a hundred lbs, I’ve had two eye surgeries) working on me, myself, and I, and so I haven’t wanted any male companionship. I’m also on an antidepressant, and in all honesty, I don’t have any real desire. I have a vibrator, I’ve played with it maybe twice, and I haven’t climaxed from that. Emotionally, I’m OK being untouched down there, but will it shrivel up and die…will I have menopause before I’m 40???

    Liked by 1 person

    1. well first of all, congratulations on all you have achieved in that time. That is brilliant!
      Yes meds can block libido… you could ask your Dr to try another maybe?
      I can understand your anxiety honey… that could be a factor in not climaxing…
      I’m sure you will not shrivel up love! You will get back on that horse when the time is right!
      Thanks for replying.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Why does everyone say that, that I’ll “get back on the horse” when the time is right? It’s as though the entire world agrees there’s something wrong with me if I decide I wish to remain untouched for eternity.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh no! I didn’t mean that at ALL!!!!! I mustve just misunderstood you… If you don’t want to get back on the horse I completely respect and salute your choice. Apologies if I offended you.

        Like

      3. I’ll be happy when people stop expecting me to want to get back on the horse. My mother tries to push me toward a wealthy cousin (she wants his money) women in my twelve step program keep saying “well you’ve been sober almost three years now” like I should be in some hurry to fuck something. And I could care less.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Cara, if I may offer my experience and thoughts on all of his…
      I know that my antidepressants did affect my libido. Both when I was married and since I left him, after I discovered myself sexually last year. So there’s that.
      Then there seems to be a different issue, from your comments to Kat, and that is sexual abuse. It sounds like you have this idea of sex as someone using you to get off. I can relate, because that’s how my ex was with me for years. It is an awful feeling and deeply unsatisfying, it gives you a very negative self image, making you feel like a thing, and one you don’t even have control over how and when it gets used. Really awful feeling.
      Losing all libido under these circumstances is not surprising, or rather to be expected (and I’m talking about my experience and that of other fellow bloggers. And actually, I just may write a post about this, so thank you for that!)…
      This said, I hope you will once in your life get to experience what real sex is about. The connection, the sharing, the aim to please your partner, that is reciprocal, which means you are not seen as a thing, but are worshiped as a woman. There is something magical and so powerful when you realise that there are some people (I’d started to write men, but after all, maybe it would be women who would satisfy you?) who are willing to put you and your needs above them and their needs.

      Reading what the other women in your life seem to push for (really? Marriage into money?), it is not surprising that you have such a negative idea of what relationships are.
      These are NOT the norm (even if they are for you, for now!). I’m still getting used to the fact that real men react differently from what I got used to expect from my dad and my ex.
      I think you are very wise to work at healing yourself first, that will help make sure that you don’t get into one of these co-dependent relationships that destroy your soul. Keep up the good work. And I really do hope for you that you one day consider opening up to relationships again. Not because you are not worthy if you remain single. That is the complete opposite of what I believe. You are worthy in and of yourself You don’t need anyone for the world to believe it. No, I wish that for you because I’ve been where you are (or close, no one is ever exactly in the same place as anyone else) and I know how healing it was for me to be shown that sex isn’t about being taken advantage of.

      Whatever your path forward, I wish you all the best. And would also like to share my awe at all you have achieved already!

      XO

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, I just, I’d rather discuss Victorian literature or absurdist theater, than have a person touch me. Why do I have to be an object for another’s use?

        Like

      2. I understand. And that’s what I meant: you don’t have to, should never, be an object for anyone to use (unless it’s your kink, and then good for you!).
        But there is beauty when you are not an object anymore, but seen in all your glory.
        I have never been one to discuss Victorian lit or absurdist theater. And now, I know I really like this side of me I have finally been able to discover. But everything in its own time. And if you never feel the need to go there… that’s totally up to you!

        Like

      3. Well, obviously! You’re YOU, and that is the most important part!
        What I’m saying is: once you find the person who sees you for who you are, likes you for who you are, then maybe you can entrust them to show you the power of what’s between your legs. The power on them, but most importantly the power on YOU!
        Everyone’s path is different. Your path, the one you choose to follow, is just as worthy as any other, don’t let anyone make you feel any different!

        Like

      4. No, you’re refusing to hear me. I’m saying I don’t want or need to let anyone between my legs. You, like the rest of the world, insist that me being a woman with a fine mind somehow isn’t enough, that I’m worthless if I don’t let someone penetrate me…if being penetrated is what defines me as a woman, then I think I’d rather be part of the furniture.

        Like

      5. No, I think you are mistaken. I am not saying this at all.
        I’m not saying that you are worthless if you don’t open your legs. On the contrary.

        I think you are a very fine woman! And I totally believe that you should not have to let anyone penetrate you simply because people tell you to, or to prove some sort of sick idea of worth to anyone.

        That’s not at all what I was saying.
        I think that the approach you have to sex shows that you suffered abuse, and I hope you manage to heal from it.

        All I’m saying is that, contrary to what you seem to think, there is no defiling in opening your legs, as you bluntly state, when you want to, and to a person who values the offering you are giving them.
        Basically: you see sex as degrading, and as long as this is the case, you absolutely don’t need that in your life. Nobody needs to feel degraded.

        But I was just saying not all sex is degrading. And when it is done with the right person, it is a thing of beauty and very powerful. So please, don’t imply that all men are pigs who cannot appreciate a woman’s mind, only interested in what’s between her legs. Or that women who offer themselves to being penetrated are somehow lesser women because they do. Neither is true… Sometimes, sex is magical.

        But I don’t at all think that it is the only way to assess a person’s worth, on the contrary. I think everyone is worthy just because they ARE. And no one should ever judge anyone based on any silly assumptions on how the world should be.

        You being a woman with a fine mind is great. And even if you didn’t have a fine mind, you’d still be a worthy person. I have mentally handicapped friends whose mind cannot be said to be fine. And they are still worthy, simply because they are themselves and bring something to this crazy world.

        So basically, who you are is more than enough. For me at least. You don’t need to prove yourself to me or anyone else. So please don’t associate me with ‘the rest of the world’, as you don’t seem to value it much.

        If not opening your legs is the way for you to prove your worth to yourself, then by all means, that’s what you should do. Follow the path that works for YOU!

        And, as an aside, the fact that I said I didn’t think I’d be particularly great at discussing Victorian lit or absurdist theater doesn’t mean that I don’t think they are interesting subjects. I’d just prefer to discuss physics and science. That’s who I am and what I feel more comfortable talking about. It was in no way me trying to dismiss your subjects of choice.
        And if I were to discuss literature, which is not my favourite subject, then I’d probably choose one that I can relate with more, like that of my own country 😉

        Liked by 1 person

What have you got to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s