It has been two weeks since we parted and still no word from you.
Two weeks Will!
I am confused. Confused and disappointed and, more than anything else, heartbroken.
After all that have shared, first through our messages and talks, and then over that wonderful perfect, well… almost perfect, weekend, how could you just disappear?
You once promised me that you would never abandon me, never. You said it to me. Remember?
You said you loved me! You let me fall in love with you, knowing I had more to lose.
I know you have your problems. I know you are still healing from your last catastrophic relationship. You forget, Will, I know your schedule and that you are probably in session with your therapist as I type this.
I know I was demanding and childish when you needed space. I acted appallingly. If only I could turn back the clock…
Now, by not responding to my emails and messages you are not allowing me to apologise or explain.
I was angry at first about that, but now? Now I am just sad. So deeply sad.
Everything reminds me of you, and I am walking around in a daze most of the time. I cannot listen or focus. If I have to smile, it feels fake on my face. I struggle to contain my tears.
So, my lovely, lovely Will, this will have to be my final attempt to reach out to you… but my heart aches as I suspect it will be in vain.
You have shut yourself off from me, built up those protective walls that you were only beginning to break down, brick by painful brick.
I am sorry that my passion and desire to have you made you feel angry or smothered.
I am sorry that you didn’t want us to continue.
I loved what we had, however brief it was.
I will never forget you. Never.
You were a spark of hope and happiness in my mundane life and, for that, I will always be grateful.
I will be here if you chose to come back.
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