So… I am a slut?

FullSizeRenderSo… today I got called a slut on twitter.

An “attention seeking slut” to be exact.

I felt this remark like a punch straight to my stomach.

I was shocked and hurt.

It hurt even more because another woman had tweeted it…

First of all, I detest the word slut, and everything it represents – misogyny, shame, double standards, judgment, ignorance.

Secondly, I would NEVER call another woman a slut, whore, tramp or any other derogatory word that places judgment on her for simply being a sexual creature.

So what did I do to deserve this label?

I will never know for sure, because she unfollowed and blocked me, on twitter and Instagram. So basically, I am dead to her!

I had spent part of yesterday having an enjoyable chat with another person this woman followed and I tweeted him a link to this blog.

I can only speculate that perhaps that was one step too far in her eyes…

How dare I seek attention in such a way? And with a guy she was friends with? How outrageous of me!

(She then blocked this lovely guy also, much to his disappointment…)

I discovered later that, apparently, she has always felt threatened by me and my confidence and approachable style of interacting.

That is fair enough I guess, but why not discuss this with me?

Or simply unfollow me.

That’s the beauty of twitter…. No one is forced to interact with anyone else if they don’t want to.

But, to label me a slut, simply because I see no problem admitting I love sex?

Because I write some erotic stories?

Because my stories have a bit of kink to them?

Because I flirt on twitter?

Cooooooome on!

I am an adult woman, who has experienced enough shit in my life to have at last grown into being comfortable in my own skin.

After years of fear and hiding my true self, I have finally accepted that I am sexual… so what? We all are!

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My writing has helped me to discover parts of myself I was scared to fully and openly explore before. I have connected with amazing people who are on a similar journey as myself, exploring their sexuality and their true, core selves. I feel profound gratitude that I have met these new friends, and if I could hug each one of you for helping me to accept that I have nothing to feel shame about, I would hug you guys so hard!

I have decided that this woman on twitter must be a deeply unhappy and, perhaps angry, person who deserves my sympathy rather than wrath.

Perhaps she will one day begin to look inwards, to try to figure out why she ever felt the need to be so unnecessarily hurtful and bitter toward a person who was never anything less than respectful and friendly towards her.

I make it my daily goal to leave whomever I encounter happier than before they met me.

I aim to spread some kindness and joy, always, never pain.

I compliment complete strangers in shops FFS!

I hurt if I suspect I have caused any other person discomfort.

I simply do not believe in judging people, because, who the hell am I to cast any critical eye over them or the way they chose to live their lives?

I do not know what burdens they may be carrying that cause them to be unpleasant or rude.

I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt.

So, it is with a heavy heart that I share this account of my day with you.

My hope is that this perhaps makes you think before you say anything hurtful to someone, even someone you only know through social media.

Think twice; ask yourself how you would feel in their shoes?

How you would feel if someone called you or your special person that name?

Thanks for reading this…. In order to live up to my new monocle I will resume the filth very soon, I promise!

x

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21 thoughts on “So… I am a slut?

    1. Hugs to you. I understand your pain and applaud your decision to feel sorry for this woman.

      I have shared my story before of the treatment I recieved from coworkers when I was going through breast cancer. They were some of the most cruel comments another woman could make and I made the same choice as you. Feel sorry for them because you are no doubt the better and HAPPIER person. For truly they must be deeply miserable themselves.
      Have a fabulous day my dear!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Everyone has demons and it appears those are hers or she wouldn’t have been so upset. You are a good person and to love others you’ve gotten much further than those who seek to destroy you. Bravo … great post!

    Like

  2. Clearly that woman was someone insecure and threatened. I would say “own that label” but clearly it was hurtful and upsetting to you and to say “ah, she’s just jealous, own that shit!” doesn’t validate your feelings or your experience. Personally, I’ve always used humor as a defense and say I’m just going to “take back” all the bad words! YES! I’m a slut, I’m fat, I can be a right rotten cunt and I’m certainly a bitch. I don’t get paid so “whore” is inaccurate. I mean no offense in owning the word. I just want to take away the shame and thus the power.

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  3. Enter your comment here…I am sorry you experienced this abuse. I always remember the old saying that one should never judge another person until you have
    walked a mile in their shoes. Being blind I have (mainly as a child) had all kinds of abuse thrown at me, “blind bastard” among other charminfeel sorry for people who hate because, ultimately hate destroys the hater.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Firstly, apologies for my initial comment being somewhat mangled. It wasn’t as well expressed as it should have been. Secondly, you are right, people can be horrible to one another at times. Without wishing to be morbid, we should always remember that today could be our last and its better to go to sleep at night with a clear conscience rather than a feeling that someone is hurting due to something we have said. I respect you for not having retaliated because so often in these situations insults result in the person being insulted sinking to the same level. You didn’t do that, which is to your credit!

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  4. Listen honey, as an erotic writer I have two words ‘Screw you.’ I am what I am. I write what I write. Oh and I have had charities take my donation from my writing and block me on twitter from doing nothing except being there. Laugh, I know I do.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Just continue to be yourself, do not let anyone influence you in a negative way .. it is jealousy that gets women to be disrespectful and try to push each other down .. it’s a shame because it is us women who would stick together .. let them call you slut whore CP, there is nothing that will touch you, it is people with mental illness who throw shit out and it just feel pity for them, pathetic animals!!so keep being yourself and continue flirt smile write 🙂 bless

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  5. Shame on her. I have learn’t to accept anyone the way she/he is. your sexuality is your being – an identity and so should be respected. Such people are the likes who have never known themselves or are social phobic to let their true self be known..

    Like

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