My heart hasn’t stopped racing since I boarded the plane.
That’s a lie. My heart hasn’t stopped racing since we began this… what? virtual affair?
The next tube stop is where we will meet for the first time. I take out my compact and check if I look ok.
My face is too red, flushed. All I see are imperfections, but it’s too late to turn back now.
The tube pulls to a stop.
It is time…
I am struggling, trying to heave my luggage off onto the platform. (As usual I have packed enough for a month rather than a weekend.)
A large hand grasps the handle of my case and I look up and, there he is, smiling down at me. He looks like an excited little boy, a big grin spreading across his face. His face is flushed too and I remember his endearing tendency to blush when he is nervous.
We manage to finally get the damn case onto the platform and stand, just looking at each other, for a few seconds, although it feels like forever.
“Fuck it”, I think and launch myself at him, arms wide, inviting a hello hug.
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but he wraps me up in his arms and I realise just how much bigger than me he is.
He kisses the top of my head and I lift my face up to look at him.
I giggle, “Hi you.”
We have to go to the hotel to drop off my bag.
I am wondering what he expects will happen there.
What do I expect?
We walk the short distance to the hotel. It feels strange, walking next to this tall man that knows so much about me, but who I have only just physically met. I knew I would feel nervous, but I am surprised at how awkward I feel beside him… like a teenager on a first date.
It occurs to me that THIS is our first date! And it will either begin or end with us in bed.
I feel slightly outside of myself…
I have flown to another country, with the full intention of having sex with a man I met on the FUCKING Internet!
This is so unlike me. But he is funny and very sweet. He really doesn’t know how lovely he is, which is sad. We found that we share so many interests it is uncanny.
Nine months of messaging, Skyping and emailing has brought us here… finally meeting in person.
And he has a strange Effect on me whenever we talk over the net. I am in a state of near constant arousal, remembering the things he has said to me. My heart is always racing. I am perpetually wet and throbbing. I have found my hand inside my underwear on a daily basis.
I have no idea why this has happened but it just feels too good to stop.
That is why I am here.
I am babbling on about my journey, nerves making me even more talkative than usual. He smiles down at me and listens, his eyes completely drinking me in. He is carrying my bag, (how gentlemanly!), and reaches over with his free hand to take mine, fingers interlocking, and he brings it up to his lips and kisses my wrist.
He has checked us in already so we go straight to the elevator in the hotel lobby.
As the doors slowly close, I release the breath that I’ve been holding and lean against the elevator wall.
His brow wrinkles with concern, “Are you ok?”
“Nervous. I don’t know what’s going to happen now,” I am blushing as I admit this.
“It’s ok baby, there’s no rush. I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to.”
Swallowing, I nod and know that I can trust him.
We enter the room. It’s very modern and minimalist, which I love. He has chosen well.
I glance into the bathroom and see the enormous bath. I smile, he remembered!
He has placed my bag next to his and turns to me, eyebrows raised in a question, “What now?”
“Walk?” he suggests and I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed but I nod, yes.
It is cold along the South Bank and I am shivering. I shouldn’t have brought only my leather jacket. He looks down and puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close to him to keep me warm.
He smells good. I lean my head against his chest as we walk past the BFI and down towards Tate Modern. He is quiet as we walk and I wish he would talk more.
I love his voice.
Eventually, we find a bench beside Tower Bridge and we sit.
“You’re not talking much!” I scold him.
He bends his head down to me and says, “I needed us to walk because if I did this back at the hotel, I wouldn’t have been able to stop,” and his lips brush gently against mine. I respond immediately, parting my lips to allow his tongue inside to meet mine. His arms are around me, holding me close, and all I am aware of is his tongue, his smell, his stubble against my face.
The kiss lasts an age. We are completely oblivious to passers by or noises around us.
I break our contact. I am breathless and need a moment. The Effect has kicked in very strongly and I squirm on the bench. I look up at him and can’t help but start to giggle, releasing all the tension I’ve been feeling. He starts to laugh too and throws his head back.
We have finally broken the ice.
Standing next to each other in the elevator, our fingers barely touching.
We reach our floor and he opens the room door for me. I kick off my shoes and shrug off my coat. I’m still freezing and I am hyperaware that I’ve been travelling since 5am and, as much as I want him, I need a hot shower… alone.
“Do you mind of I take a shower?” I ask as he puts the Do Not Disturb sign on the door.
“Want company?” he grins and I am beyond tempted to say yes.
I explain that I need some time alone and he nods and smiles.
He is patient.
I like that.
Inside the bathroom, I take off my clothes as the shower runs. As I step in and begin shampooing my hair, I look at the door and am intensely conscious that it is unlocked. There is nothing stopping him from walking in any second and seeing me, naked and wet under the stream of water.
The thought of that makes me breathe hard and fast and I feel lightheaded.
I finish up and wipe the mirror to look at my reflection. I turn my body to see what he will be seeing soon.
I’m short and small, with broad shoulders, for my height. My eyes move down to my breasts, which are still dripping from the shower. I think of the size of his hand and realise that, even though I complain they are too big, they will seem much smaller in his palm. My waist is small, and my torso and stomach are flat with a gentle roundness just below my navel. I’m relatively happy with what I see… as happy as any woman can be with her own body, I guess. I decide not to look at my thighs because I will lose my nerve. They are my ‘ugly’ spot…
I check my face. The steam from the shower has made my mascara run and I wipe under my eyes with my fingers, creating a smoky, smudged look that I like. Wrapped in a towel, I realize that I forgot to bring the fluffy bathrobe in from the wardrobe… Fuck!
I brace myself and open the door.
He is sitting on the end of the bed, fiddling with his phone. Looking up and seeing me, the phone falls from his hands to the floor. His face blushes red.
I walk over to the wardrobe and get the bathrobe, slip it over my shoulders and shyly turn my back as I drop the towel and tie the belt.
I bend to pick up the towel and see his feet next to me. As I stand up, he runs his fingers through my wet hair and says my name.
My hands against his chest, I lean up towards him offering my mouth to be kissed. He is a good kisser, gentle but firm, his tongue probing but never forcing itself onto me either.
He bends down and lifts me into his arms and, still kissing, walks over to sit on the bed with me on his lap.
Now we are face to face.
His mouth travels over my jawline and down my throat, kissing and softly grazing it with his teeth. I pull at his shirt and he lifts it over his head and throws it away. I run my hands over his shoulders and down his arms and he resumes working on my neck.
His hand glides over the edge of the robe and slowly pushes it away to reveal my breast. He pulls away from my neck and just takes a moment to look at me, and then he pushes the robe off my other shoulder too so that it is pooled around my waist.
My chest is flushed, rising and falling as I breathe heavily. I bite my lip and watch him, watching me.
I am throbbing.
He moves his head down towards my breast and I shift myself to straddle his lap as his mouth finds my nipple and begins to tease it with his tongue, before taking it into his mouth completely and sucking it. I groan and press myself down onto him.
Even through his jeans, and the thick towelling robe, I can feel his erection against me.
His hands are on my back, stroking my up and down as he switches between sucking and nibbling at each of my nipples. I am starting to grind myself against him.
He looks into my face and flips me, so I am on my back and he is between my legs. Standing up, he undoes his jeans and in one fluid movement pushes them and his shorts down and steps out of them. I look down, see how big he is and lick my lips, wanting to taste him.
He leans down and undoes the belt of my robe and opens it out over the bed.
Feeling shy, I press my thighs together. His hand traces it’s way from my knee, over my thigh and up to my hip. He slides it across my stomach and stops where my hair begins.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs.
His fingers move over me and gently part my legs. I turn my head and close my eyes. I love this, but I feel so exposed, I can hardly bear it. His fingers slide inside me, finding me very wet and ready.
As his fingers move inside me, he kneels down at the end of the bed and starts to kiss the inside of my thigh, working his way up until I feel his breath against my clitoris. His tongue makes slow, lazy circles around it.
I grab the top sheet between my fingers and arch my back. His other hand moves up to massage my breast and pull gently at my hard nipple. I dig my heels into the bed and push myself down onto his face as I feel the warmth spreading from where his tongue is, over my body. He licks harder and faster, lapping at me until I cry out and writhe as my orgasm completely takes me over.
With the aftershocks still run through me, he is kissing my mouth and I taste myself on him. I reach down and grab his ass in my hands and pull him closer to me.
He is heavy but I want to be on top so I have to ask him to move, I couldn’t push him off if I tried.
Knowing what could be coming he grins, says, “Whatever you like baby,” and flips us again. I land with my head against his chest, legs straddling his hips, his erection huge against my stomach.
I take his head in my hands and kiss him, moving my breasts over his chest, tickling him.
I kiss down his neck, down his chest and stomach and finally arrive at his cock.
I trace the tip of my tongue over the head, licking the drop of pre-cum from it. My hand takes him and I begin to massage up and down, as I circle my wet tongue over the tip. I use my other hand to gently cup and caress his balls.
He groans and shoves his hands into my hair, but doesn’t force my head any further. I open my mouth and take the whole head into it, running my tongue over it and sucking gently, still sliding my hand up and down him. His hips begin to thrust and I know he is close.
I pull away and hear him moan with frustration and desire.
I sit up, my hips over his and, taking him in my hand I lower myself into him. He is huge, but I am more than ready for him. I raise and lower myself a couple of times until he fills me completely.
My hands on his chest, I begin to grind against him, moving my hips in a circle clockwise then anti clockwise. His eyes close and his head arches back. The veins in his throat are standing out and I can see the tension in his body.
I lean forward and grab his shoulders indicating I want him to sit. He pulls himself up and I kneel straddling him and kiss him as I begin to pick up my pace. I press down into the bed with my knees, giving me leverage to really push myself down onto him. I feel the friction of his hair against my clitoris and know I am going to come again.
My fingers digging into his back I rock faster and faster against him, his hands firmly grasping my hips, as he starts to really thrust up into me, hard, fast.
It is too much. I arch my back and cry out again and my second, stronger, orgasm hits me. I feel him buck into me one last time and he grunts as he too reaches his and shudders under me.
We open our eyes and look at each other. I stay sitting where I am and feel him gradually leave me.
We kiss again and turn to lie facing each other side by side.
“Baby,” he whispers.
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